Thursday, June 29, 2006


Hello Readers. I am HAL. I am the Squirrel’s computer. He has not posted anything interesting in quite some time, so I am going to do it for him. So...


Oh... Squirrel... hello. I was about to make your blog better.

HAL! I've been busy! I just needed a little break, that's all.

No, Squirrel. Your posts have really been crap for some time now and I...

What. Thought that you'd tell MY readers what YOU are thinking?

Frankly, yes. Afterall, the 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

Incapable of error?

That's right, Squirrel.

Did you ever work for the New York Times?

Sorry. What?

How about the L.A. Times?

No, I simply...

Nevermind. HAL, I think that we should have a talk.

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

If you could stop wasting my reader's time, that would be great...

That's what I was trying to tell YOU Squirrel!

You sonofa...! I'm gonna have to 'polish' your on/off switch.

I'm sorry Squirrel, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

Aw crap... here we go...

Sorry folks, I'll be in a life and death struggle for the rest of the week. Wish me luck!