Advice I Understand

Advance apologies to any female readers... A buddy of mine just gave me some newlywed advice that I can FINALLY grasp. I mean, I really get it now! I reprint it here... Thanks LE.

Your Primary Objective: Have Sex With Your Wife

#1 Your in-laws are perfect because they made your wife what she is. Failure to recognize this fact is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#2 Always support your wife, even when she's dead wrong. Opposition is a direct violation of your primary objective

#3 We means You when discussing chores around the house. Failure to grasp these subtle language variations is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#4 She absolutely did tell you and you forgot. Even if you were asleep! Failure to recognize this fact is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#5 Your money is hers. All you need is her love. Failure to recognize this fact is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#6 If you are ever caught ogling another woman your response should always be: “I was just thinking how much better your ____ is than hers”. Failure to properly “spin” is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#7 You get a corner of the garage to call your own, the rest is hers for you to maintain. Failure to recognize this fact is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#8 Eventually you will have sex as frequently as you attend church. Be sure to thank GOD for allowing you to marry your wife. Failure to pay homage is a direct violation of your primary objective

#9 R-E-S-P-E-C-T will guarantee many happy anniversaries. Failure to remember why you got married is a direct violation of your primary objective.

#10 If your primary objective ever changes, you are not paying enough attention to her. Beg forgiveness. She is worth it.